“Led Zeppelin” drown in the Orange Juice

With the lead sentence of the Rocky Mountain News article my stomach turns. With sentence two, “John Paul Jones, the group’s founding bassist, told the BBC that he and his fellow band members would consider looking for someone to replace their lead singer,” my stomach eats itself. WHAT? Why would anyone, especially a founding member of Led Zeppelin, even begin to entertain such a stupendously stupid idea?

Well, since you asked (Listen up, Mr. Jones!):

1. Their ego can’t reconcile present musical ability with past musical prowess. This isn’t 1973. It will never be 1973 again. The passing of 35 years DID NOT improve your musical skill. Why risk a tarnished legacy at the hands of aging hands?

2. The self-awareness of their “legendary” status interferes with sound thinking. We get it. You were awesomein your prime. Six totally killer albums (and three OK ones) and an army of fans approaching the population of China. But have you really thoroughly thought through whether anyone wants to watch 2 of your 4 original members (Jason Bonham, John Bonham’s son, joined the reunited band as drummer) parade around on stage like God’s gift… or the Hammer of God’s gift, as it were. It’s over, get over it!

3. Their failed (or relatively non-existent) solo career. Robert Plant, with the help of Alison Krauss, recently released the pretty successful Raising Sand and got the best shot he’s had in years at relevancy. It makes sense that he wouldn’t want to tour with Zeppelin. He’s not suffering from #1 or #2 above. The other surviving members, on the other hand, haven’t quite found that latter day groove. In John Paul Jones‘ case, he hasn’t really grooved at all since the band broke up in 1980. Sure, a few film scores and a solo record I wouldn’t recommend over any of the other members’ solo efforts, but hardly a life fit for presumed rock royalty.

So, with that, and in nearly complete contradiction to everything I just said, I’ll leave you to enjoy this article detailing the incredibly exciting announcement of theOrange Juice reunion!